to have Courage....In Family Life, In Spirituality, In Health, In Living Simply

I'm on a journey...... as we all are. Learning, remembering, re-discovering about health, spirituality, relationships, emotions and the mind.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wedding Ideas

A wedding celebration is the moment when two people seal their lifelong commitment to each other. Since our eldest daughter is planning her wedding for June 2010, I thought it would be fun to do some research on Weddings and all the stuff that surrounds that big event.  I'm blogging about these subjects because I'm having fun searching the web about it, I'd like to share neat ideas I find with Layne kind of like a big brain-storm, and I thought I'd share some posts so I have references for when one of my other girls plans a wedding.


As a little girl and young woman, I always dreamed of getting married and becoming a mom. Those are high callings in life....and that's what I wanted to invest my life into.   I wanted to have a beautiful wedding to commemorate that change in my life, when I publicly stated my commitment and un-dying love to my husband.

It's always  important to be able to differentiate between whether you are doing something because it's in your own heart and you'd love to do it, or whether you do it because its expected of you (and it will hopefully avoid confrontations with others).  And above all,  consider what would give honor to the Lord and to one another.


With our daughters' (6, so far) weddings all ahead of us, I'd like to think that they can have alot more freedom and creativity when planning their own weddings.  As Mom, I don't want to dictate nor expect.  I want to support and brainstorm.   I had my own opportunity to plan my own wedding years ago, and whether or not I took that opportunity to the fullest is beside the point.  It is not my place to dictate or co-erce my children to plan their wedding around my ideas or dreams.  It is my place to come alongside and help my children accomplish that which they dream and desire.  And I know that my children have strong opinions as to what they would or wouldn't like, and I want to respect those and those of their future spouse.


While there are many traditional wedding elements to choose from, it’s not necessary to stick with those well-known options. It's fun to incorporate new elements that reflect the bride and grooms personalities and talents or to incorporate the skills and talents of their beloved family and friends.

More than a decade ago I purchased a book to help the older girls and I learn to do some fanciful hair-dos.  One of the photos in the book had a bride wearing a formal wedding dress while wearing red hightop runners!  It was cute and fun, and likely there was a story behind why she would wear hightops for her wedding.  But this was one of the starting points for us talking about unique things to incorporate into  weddings.  Something to make it personal, and obviously memorable. 

The uniqueness can be expressed in so many different ways, by the attire worn by the wedding party such as casual wear, or jeans.  It could be the 'bouquet' which isn't flowers but pinwheels.  Or traditional vows rewritten with deep personal meaning.  The ceremony can take place at the beach, or in a quaint country church, or the family's backyard.  If food is served it can be a formal sit-down, a bbq, a picnic, or feature a favorite ethnic cuisine.  The ideas are endless. 

I'm planning to write many more posts about weddings in the next few days, and throughout there will be lots of examples and links to how people can and do make their weddings very individual.  Ideas from weekend-long parties in the mountains, to casual beach ceremonies, to masquerades or the wild west themes.  I'll skip the Shrek and Star Trek themes, but basically anything goes when it's based on individual tastes.  After all, God made us all unique, so why would we all want to have the same things as everybody else.....the church, the elegant gown, the candles, etc.

There are usually significant meanings and spiritual connotations behind the traditional elements in a wedding, and we'll touch on the symbolism and see that there can be different or unique ways to incorporate the meaning with a twist.  And of course there are cultural differences in weddings.  Maybe we can touch on that, too. Like incorporating things like a Chinese Tea Ceremony or Jewish Blessings.


Some people just are not comfortable dressing up glamorously.  So, why should their wedding day be something that they are not?   Why start a marriage with a show of who you aren't, just to make it look beautiful and acceptable for others?  That's like wearing a mask, being afraid to let people see who you really are, and not being able to trust them to love and support you no matter what.  Be honest with who you are and what you want.


It's easy to spend thousands or tens of thousands of dollars on that one day.  Put more thought into the plans than money, and make sure to not get consumed by all the wedding preparations.  Keep your relationship with each other as a priority.   The wedding is just one day out of your lifetime.  The relationship you have with each other is to last forever.

Think about what is most important. Is it flowers? The invitations? Food? Music? Focus attention on the things that matter the most.  Photography might be a biggie, as it captures those memories forever.

Don’t worry about how other people think you should do your wedding. A heartfelt ceremony will touch those who love you two the most.

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