Love Them

When children try your soul, as they will,
When they cause you grief, as they do,
When they rouse your anger and provoke your wrath, as is their way,
When they reduce you to tears and prayer, as often happens,


Love them.

Don't bother about anything at all
Until you have first made clear to yourself
That your love for the child in question
Is holding firmly, swelling warmly in your heart.
Then, whatever you do will be as nearly right
As it is possible for human judgment to be right.

~ Angelo Patri, 19th Century Educator, New York City

Valentine's Day at Our House

(Not at all as you would likely expect.)

Today was Everette's and my 25th Wedding Anniversary.  (We don't recommend getting married on Valentine's day.  We'd marry each other over again, but we wouldn't choose Valentine's Day to do it.  But that's beside the point.)

We spent yesterday together in Victoria, window-shopping, checking out new art supply stores, having lunch, taking in Tea-tasting at Silk Road, buying our family a tea set. ( Tea is our new education.  We never liked 'tea' until last month when we actually tried the Real McCoy, and now we are tea drinkers.  So it was a treat to spend more than an hour tasting and smelling and learning about tea yesterday. Then when we returned home we sipped and sampled tea with the children on the living room floor, sitting around flickering candles. )

Today we spent our actual anniversary here at home with our children.  A quiet, lazy day of togetherness.  Sharing, playing, creating, dancing, eating, working together.  A lovely family day.  And I gave my Valentine a surprise.

I must admit, I gave myself a bit of a surprise too.

After 25 years & 14 pregnancies (includes losses which still put weight on me!)

I'm up 14 pounds and still fit in the dress!  

I think that's pretty darn Good!!

 The satin needs a good ironing job, but this was impromptu so it didn't get done, and got shoved back in a sack in storage afterwards, so what would be the point.  Besides, I'm allergic to ironing!

To say that the children enjoyed seeing mommy in her wedding dress is to make an understatement.  Over and over again the younger girls pampered me, fixing my train, dancing around me, wishing they could be my Flower Girls.  They were so delighted.

Tonight we spent the evening trying to figure out our Jive steps for dance class.  And we got Layne and Mitchell learning some steps, too.  There was laughter, and some bouncing like bunnies instead of stepping like dancers, but it was all so enjoyable.

And then there was the cuddles with the children as we watched documentaries and a Tinker-bell movie.

We ended it with lighting sparklers on the back patio, sending light into the darkness.  I hope that our Love gives some light into the darkness.

Being together, its been an absolutely enjoyable Valentine's Day, and a great celebration of our commitment to One Another.  Here's to another 25 years.

About Shame & Vulnerability

A heart to heart about our biggest fears and the door to joy and authenticity.  Living a life where "I am Enough" and "I Accept Myself" even though I know I am not perfect.  And needing to ingrain that in my children.

With all of our imperfections, we are still worthy.

Love You More

I'm not sure I understand how it's possible Little One but.....

Today,..... I know I love you more.

100 Thing Challenge

In my research on the Minimalist Lifestyle I wrote about the other week, I came across the mention several times about the 100 Thing Challenge created by Dave Bruno.  I've been reading his posts, and the plethora of comments he gets and enjoying the read.  I get so excited in anticipation of how Minimalist we will live in our new place, since its harder to see what stuff we actually have when its still in boxes and we are sharing 'stuff' with our friends while we stay here.

One of Bruno's posts that I really liked is 3 Consumer Justifications That End in Crap.  These are excuses or justifications that I personally use all the time.  Actually just this morning I was contemplating "It would be wasteful to get rid of it."  After all, I didn't spend any money on it (rain boots and snow boots for Gaelyn) as my friend gave them to us, and she just might need them this autumn/winter.  We have space to keep them both, and we can always get rid of one or both of them in the future if they turn out to be virtually useless to us.  Blah blah blah.

The 100 Things Challenge isn't about an ideal number of anything.  People can determine themselves how they count up their things.  There is total Individualism in how you count.  For example, Bruno counts all his (300) books as One Library.  As avid readers and un-schoolers we have already thinned from about 2500 books down to less than 500.  (Because they are in boxes at present, I don't actually know the number.  I guessed high because I probably can't be trusted to approximate accurately, otherwise I'm tempted to say we only have 200, but I think that might be dreaming.)

Some people would count their 20 pairs of footwear as One, but others would count it as 20 (and probably would thin that down!)  Socks are likely to be counted as One item, as would all your socks.  But that's all dependent on how you would set up your own system.

I think that there is a danger of seeing 100 Things as a possible 'holier than though' thing to hold over other people who chose to live with more.  And one could pat themself on the back if they purchased/acquired something new (but not needed) and discarded something else but kept their total under 100.  The idea behind the 100 Things Challenge is bigger than the tally of things one owns.

We clutter our lives with unnecessary stuff (often produced un-ethically) and spend our money and time and energy in maintaining it, and missing out on the bigger things in life that we dream of.....like time to stroll the beach in the evening with our lover or children, or slowly sipping our favorite drink with a friend, or reading the book you've been wanting to read, or....whatever it is that you don't have time for now!!

We aren't going to find our happiness in collecting stuff, nor in keeping our personal stuff to a total of 100 Things.  Whether we have 1,000 or 10 things, our happiness will come from within our hearts and minds, the thoughts we entertain about the world and who we are in that world.

I am not a total of the things that I possess.

I am the Love that interacts with the world.

Cathedral Grove

Cathedral Grove is a rain forest not far from Qualicum Beach.  We visited here often when Layne and Rauchelle were young, but not so much once the numbers of children started to outnumber us parents, I guess.  The other night while Everette was out for a walk with Danaka, she commented that she remembers driving thru Cathedral Grove (on our way to Port Alberni or Long Beach) but she didn't remember walking thru it.  So we decided we needed to remedy that before we left the Island.  So, today was the day.Maret took some really neat pictures, this being one of them.  Gaelyn is running along a fallen tree, not a pathway.  Hard to imagine such a giant standing upright.

Some of the trees took 8 family members to reach around them.

Everette warned us not to get any of this........

Maret's shot of the creek flowing

While we were down by the creek, we met  Jieun (Julie) who is studying in Vancouver, and her brother Hun who are here from Korea.  Hun started taking pictures of the children, then became friends with Gaelyn (of course), 

 

and they offered to take photos of our family.  See a purple 'bracelet' on Gaelyn's upperarm?  Hun gave that to her (purple is one of her favorite colours), and tonight she says how lucky she is, because she's made Hun & Jieun as her new friends.  Yes, Gaelyn, you are a very fortunate girl.  You love, and love comes back to you.

 

Jieun took pics with a Polaroid and gave some to us, and the children thought it was neat to watch the pictures develop right before their eyes.  They are so used to digitals now, all the rest is so weird.

 

We drove to Port Alberni which is a town at the end of a very long, deep inlet.  We went to the 

then went down to the Harbour Quay to eat and play

Climbed the clock tower.

Security

Well, it doesn't look like we will be On The Road on Friday as we had originally planned.  We'll keep you informed.  It might be Monday, or in a few weeks.  We are presently trying to work some glitches out, and trying to stay calm.  It will all work out good, I know.  We are practicing patience, and love, and graciousness.

Moving can be a trying event, but it is during these times that we have many, many, many opportunities presented to us in which we can practice Love.  I can see that many of our children feel a bit stressed; an uncertainty because we don't know all the details, and yet there is a feeling of excitement at the same time.  It is a good opportunity for them to also practice Love, and not letting their emotions rule their behavior.

And about being 'uncertain'.......

I'm of the persuasion that in our culture we put our faith in job-security,or in owning a house, or even in our collection of possessions.  But there is absolutely no security in any of that.  There is only security in the Love of God.  That is the only permanent relationship we can be truly secure in.

I trust that our children find their security in Him Who Breathes Life Into Them.  Who Sustains Their Lives.  Who Loves Them with an Everlasting Love.  That's where Security is.  Only in God.

God's Love

 " "We didn't do anything to make him love us and we can't do anything to make him stop loving us."

Steve McVey of Grace Walk

The Velveteen Rabbit

I read this story to the children today at lunch time, and they so enjoyed it we thought we'd share it with you!!

The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams



My favorite quote:

"He didn't mind how he looked to other people, because the nursery magic had made him Real, and when you are Real shabbiness doesn't matter."

Question for You:  Was "The Velveteen Rabbit" a part of your childhood?

Unfamiliar Places & Faces

SOMEWHERE'S NEW

Being here is unfamiliar.

I've never been 'here' before.

Daughter engaged.  Becoming a mother-in-law.  Having a relationship with another family that we become related to thru marriage.  Wondering how it will look when these 2 diverse families' offspring meld and become a whole new identity as their own little family, starting as a couple, and likely welcoming littles in the course of time.

I hardly know this son.  It's kind of awkward.  Being committed to being 'family' but not knowing one another.  Trying to figure one another out.  What makes him tick?  What is he really thinking?  What does he really mean by what he just said?

Likely, he wonders about me, too!

BABY LOVE

As the unborn grows and develops in secret, our love for him/her grows.  We become more attached, more concerned, more moved and effected by their life and the events that take place with them.  We wonder what they will look like, what they will become, what their personality will be like.  But one thing is decided already, without even meeting them face to face yet.

Love.  We have decided to Love.

The best way we know how to Love.

MAKING ROOM

Well, we're having a new son.  And although he towers over me in stature, there is a place in my heart for Micah already.  I have given heart space that's for him, to grow more and more Love for him.   His personality is already developed, his mind is made up, and he's got an opinion.

I can make room for all of that.  I choose to make room.

Like a new mom..... fumbling around a little bit, apprehensive of how to get that newborn arm down that sleeve without breaking the baby, needing to learn how to relax and enjoy the moment....that baby-moon.....I need to relax and enjoy this moon of getting to know Micah.  And there is certainly some fumbling, some uncertainties of what is expected, and where the lines are not to be crossed.  How to share my heart, my concerns, my opinions, without shoving that arm down a sleeve it just doesn't want to go.  Doesn't even need to go?

This moon is a time for us to get to understand one another, to know patterns of behavior in each other, and learn to communicate.

TRUE LOVE

Time will make it all happen, naturally, when we decide to Love.  Without strings attached.  Without expectations.  Without exerting control.  Without manipulation.  For none of those things denotes Love anyways (although they seem part & parcel in relationships today that claim to have love).

My hearts cry is that Real Love is made manifest in me.


Love that suffers long and is kind;
Love that does not envy;
Love that does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
A Love that never fails.

(see I Corinthians 13)

I Love unfamiliar places and faces.  Just sometimes it's uncomfortable for the first while.

But then they become your friend.

The Familiar Places

STOMPING GROUNDS

I grew up under these western clouds, surrounded on the north by the coastal mountains, the valley on the east, and the ocean both south and west of me.  The city air mixed with ocean breezes is common to me.  I know the streets around here, but there's new intersections with lights, and sometimes I want to STOP where there used to be a 4-way sign.  This is where I graduated from a high school that saw its death and destruction years ago.  Where I skipped classes to cruise the beach.  This is where I lived when I met my lover.   Where we steamed up the car windows with our first kiss.  Where we walked in drizzle and in sunshine along the pier, and ate our fish 'n chips too close to the pesky seagulls for my comfort. This is where we were wed one Friday night nearly 24 years ago, and later we publicly dedicated ourselves to raising our baby to know and Love her Heavenly Father.

I've got alot of memories here.  It's a familiar town.

(see next post for The Unfamiliar)

Question for You:  Where is one of your favorite familiar places?