Life around here

Sad to say, its rained or we've been fogged in every single day since Summer Solstice/Father's Day. The fog was chilly, and often we get big winds here. The dc are getting a little stir-crazy, which is especially discouraging since it is supposed to be summer here. Usually we like to get to some celebration for Canada Day, but the weather isn't looking very co-operative in that department. Bummer!

I've been taking in lots of the Raw Mom Summit, and enjoying quite a few speakers even though we come with different philosophies of origins and life forces, etc. But I am encouraged by many of them. It's been a bit much, and I've chosen to skip a few speakers all together, or glean tidbits here and there as I tried to 'fast-forward' best I could. I admit, my family hasn't functioned as well this week while mom has spent more hours with a headset on. I think I'm done now, although there's another day or two left.

I asked Danaka to venture out in the pouring rain this morning to pick some wild strawberry leaves, and she was followed by Anders. We made a small batch of infusion and drank it all up this afternoon. She's got another mason jar steeping for the night. I learned about infusions by Susun Weed this week on the Summit, and it is definitely something I want to start doing in this pregnancy right away once I get my herbs ordered and delivered. She was comparing the calcium content one would get from making a nettle tea (5mg) to a nettle infusion (250mg), and it seems like a no-brainer way of getting vitamins and minerals in an easily utilized way, and cheaper than supplements.

I'm working back into doing more reading aloud with the dc. I always enjoy doing that. There were many, many days that I'd read for 4 or more hours to Layne and Rauchelle, even days I'd start to lose my voice. We so enjoyed traveling to nether-lands with each other, living lives very unlike our own. I want to do that more and more with these 'younger dc', but there's always those who are left wandering around, having nobody to play with **** because their playmates are listening to mom read. But, somehow we'll work through this.

A few weeks back we received 'The Story About Ping' through bookmooch.com (we used to own it, and now we do again!) and it has become Anders' favorite now. Honestly, I'm glad we've moved past 'Madeline'. That one personally wears on me after just a couple of readings.

Well, just wanted to let you know we are alive way over here on the island hanging out in the Atlantic! I'm wanting to share about the fourth single word the Lord spoke to me last year as I really began this new journey with Him. In many ways, the final word (well, I know He's got more words for me, but the lessons at that time were limited to 4 simple words, one at a time) encompasses them all. Maybe I'll get some quiet time later tonight, or sometime tomorrow to process my thoughts somewhat cohesively!

****Toveli said to me last year "I wish we had more kids in the family, 'cause there's never anybody to play with".


Question for You: Do you get tired easily of reading the same children's books over and over again?

Laars is Two!

Our 3rd son turned 2 on Friday. I had made a post early and thought I uploaded it on his Birthday, but then I was dismayed not to find it up there. Well, turns out it is dated as posted on the 17th because that's when I originally started working on it.

So, now I'm changing the post and it'll be late! But I wanted to recognize his birthday, a day of blessing to us and those who love him....and a gift to the world that God loves so much.





Everette always catches a snapshot of the moon or the sunrise on the day each of our dc are born. Laars was born early morning while it was still dark, and this is the sunrise that morning from our patio.

Precious Little Feet

I know that each and every baby is a blessing not only to the family, but they are actually a gift to the whole world! Baby Laars had a few attacks on his life in the womb (the placenta started to separate 2 times in 2nd semester), I had 2 dreams of his life being threatened by demons(I rarely remember my dreams), and at his birth he was born with his umbilical cord broken at both ends....very uncommon.


He is happy, healthy and wise! A real treat to the whole family.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SON!

Question for You: Do you have a tradition you did for each of your childrens' births?

Young Drivers of Canada

Anders' attempt of driving Uncle's Mercedes Benz

Down the driveway, across the road, thru the ditch and into the trees.








Blame it on the fog and poor visibility.
Or that 3 year olds aren't supposed to be in vehicles without an adult.

Question for You: Can you identify?

Public schools stifle kids’ free will

just click on the title above and it will take you to an excellent article about homeschooling, but particularly about unschooling.

Question for You: What do you think about 'unschooling'?

Victory!

The word came loudly as I was hanging up freshly laundered curtains in the living room. Victory in Jesus. Not by my own strength, but in Jesus and what He accomplished on the cross. Victory over my sin. Victory over sickness and disease. Victory over poverty.

Victory is mine. Not because of my own strength. Not because I'm a really nice person . Not because I was born to Bible-believing parents. There is nothing I have to do to be victorious really, except to believe that God's word is truth. When I believe it, then I will start applying those truths to my life.

I use these following scriptures to decree what the truth is, no matter how I am feeling or what my mind tells me. I accept the Word of the Lord to be truth, over and above what I might see happening around me. I know that He is Truth, and He cannot lie (Titus 1:2)

Rom 8: 37-39 Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us. For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2 Cor 2:14 (AMP)
But thanks be to God, Who in Christ always leads us in triumph [as trophies of Christ's victory] and through us spreads and makes evident the fragrance of the knowledge of God everywhere,

2 Corinthians 5:17, 21
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Cor 10: 3-5 (NIV)
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

1 Peter 2:9(NLT)
But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests,[a] a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.

John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.


Eph 4:27 (NIV) (I) do not give the devil a foothold.

Eph 6:14 (NIV)
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,

1 John 1:9(AMP)
If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action].

1 John 2:1 (AMP)
My little children, I write you these things so that you may not violate God's law and sin. But if anyone should sin, we have an Advocate (One Who will intercede for us) with the Father--[it is] Jesus Christ [the all] righteous [upright, just, Who conforms to the Father's will in every purpose, thought, and action].

Rev 12:11 (NIV)
They overcame him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;

Isa 54:17 (NLT)
But in that coming day
no weapon turned against you will succeed.
You will silence every voice
raised up to accuse you.
These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord;
their vindication will come from me.
I, the Lord, have spoken!

Col 1:13 (NASB)
For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son,

2 Tim 1:7(AMP)
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

Psalm 27:1 (AMP)
The Lord is my Light and my Salvation--whom shall I fear or dread? The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?

Deut 28:13 (NIV)
The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.

Psa 91:7 (NLT)
Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you,
these evils will not touch you.

Luke 10:19 (AMP)
Behold! I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and [physical and mental strength and ability] over all the power that the enemy [possesses]; and nothing shall in any way harm you.

I am a big fan of reading or listening to Decrees. I use them to get my heart and mind onto what the Lord says pertaining my life. I know that satan is the father of lies, and loves to feed falsehood to me at every corner (John 8:44). But I refuse to listen to him. The best way is to defute those lies with the Truth, which is Jesus.

Remember, "I cannot afford to have a thought in my head about me that is not in His." Bill Johnson

To keep thoughts about me that are not in His, is to believe a lie. To accept and believe His Word about me, is to know the truth and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)


Question for You: Do you use Decrees?

Freedom

A few weeks after I had heard 'Life' spoken to me from the Lord, I was putting laundry into the washing machine when I clearly heard the word 'Freedom'. Nobody else was in the room with me, except the Holy Spirit. I know it was The Spirit talking to me.

I accepted that word from Him, and immediately recalled the verse in John 8:36 "So if the Son sets (or 'makes' NASB) you free, you will be free indeed." (NIV)

So, He was pointing out to me that I hadn't been living out my freedom, the freedom that Christ the Son had died to give me. I had taken on self- or man-inflicted bondage, often touted as 'holy' or 'righteous'. I was living a 'good Christian life', had a nice family, doing what many saw as Biblical, but yet my heart was not truly living in freedom. Those were only outward actions that were admired by many, and my intentions were to be pleasing to the Lord, but my heart wasn't living in freedom.

Galatians 2:19 in The Message kind of sums up much of where I had been.

"What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that. Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily."

The way I see it is, if I choose to succumb to "rule-keeping, peer-pleasing", then basically what Jesus accomplished on the cross isn't effective as far as it pertains to me. Jesus gave up His precious life and blood for not only my sins, but to set me free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2). If I don't live in that freedom, then I am basically rejecting what God's gift to me is. (I challenge you to read thru Romans 8, at least thru verses 1-6. But much of the rest of the chapter talks lots about Life & death, Freedom and bondage.)

Galatians 5:13(AMP) says, "For you, brethren, were [indeed] called to freedom; only [do not let your] freedom be an incentive to your flesh and an opportunity or excuse [for selfishness], but through love you should serve one another."

We were called to live in Freedom. Not lawlessness (see 1 John 3:4). "You say, “I am allowed to do anything”-—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial." (1 Cor 10:23)

When I talk about Freedom I am not at all saying, "Anything Goes!" because it doesn't. Scripture is clear about particular things that are sin. But past that, much of what the church sees as 'sinful' is simply religious-spirited opinion. Take drinking wine, for example. Hot topic in some circles, but I dare to bring it up. Scripture makes it clear to "Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit" (Eph 5:18) In 1 Tim 5:23 Paul admonished Timothy to use wine medicinally, and Jesus' very first public miracle was turning water not just into wine, but really really good wine....the BEST! (see John 2:1-12)

Nobody will convince me that drinking wine under all conditions for a Christian is a sin. That is just opinion. It often becomes bondage forced on others. But it is not supported by Scripture. Therefore, according to Scripture, drinking wine is permissable. It may not be beneficial, but that's a different issue. It is allowable. But many times we take our opinion that because it might not be beneficial in my situation, it therefore mustn't be beneficial in your situation, either.

I heard a story by Bill Johnson who was traveling with a fella, and Bill offered him a candy. He turned it down, saying that God had told Him that he wasn't supposed to eat candy. Turns out that a couple years previous God had asked this man to sacrifice or fast from eating candy. He hadn't imposed the 'no eating candy' on anybody else, but he had imposed that candy-fast on himself for years, without having asked God if he could now eat candy. He had actually put himself in a type of bondage because he had assumed that what God had once asked him to do, was still the 'law' for him. He hadn't thought to inquire of the Lord about the issue.

I urge you to honestly ask the Lord to reveal to you what bondage you may be under, and then ask Him to set you free from it. Inquire of the Lord in all matters, and don't accept man's ideas blindly. If the Son has set you free, then YOU ARE FREE! Live in that freedom. Make the cross applicable to your life.

Question for You: Do you feel under obligation alot, or do you feel free most of the time?

More about Life

I can look back over previous years and see particular relationships from a different perspective now. I recall going into some new 'friends' houses, and almost feeling as if I was being squeezed and restricted at every visit. We could talk about the Lord, but it was as if I needed to do more to be more righteous & to measure up. It felt like the big burden on Christians back ('Pilgrim's Progress'), but instead of personal sin, it was more religious-spirited baggage. I had put myself into a relationship that brought a form of death. They had a form of godliness but didn't seem to really be walking in the grace of God, or the power of the gospel, nor the abundant life of Jesus.

I have received emails of reprimand towards myself or my friends because of somebody that we had received teaching through. People thought they could us the scriptures to prove their point, which was actually to defraud others. But usually within the first couple of sentences I could feel in my spirit-man that these words were giving death. It wasn't really whether they had any truth or not in what they had to say, but I could easily tell by what spirit realm it was written. Remember, satan knows scriptures and can certainly use them to his advantage, but that brings death. It robs us of joy, for he comes to steal, kill and destroy. But when those words bring Life to our soul, then we know that the source is God.

I recall hearing Heidi Baker of Iris Ministries talking about a time that she was all excited, pushing ahead on a project. But then she had a vision or a dream (I can't remember) in which she was running really really fast, and then she stumbled. God picked her up, twirled her around excitedly, and then said, "You Go Girl! Just slow down a little!"

I love that picture. To me, its such a gentle Daddy excited over the same things that His child is, but there to pick her up, play a bit, and encourage her on. Within all of that is a gentle reprimand or correction, cloaked in love and delight.

That's how I see the Love of God, bringing LIFE to me even when correction is needed. If it feels like death, then it likely is. And I know who authors that! No matter how holy or right it might appear, if the source is not from God, then in the end it will bring death.

Our family can honestly say, that in the 5 months we were hanging out with Extreme Prophetic, and we took in many many meetings (from small informal house meetings, to big conferences), there wasn't even one meeting where we didn't leave there feeling more life, more love for God, more desire for His Word. There was always Life, always encouragement, always support, always God.

Deuteronomy 30:19

" I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants."

John 10:10

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."


Be Blessed and above all, be filled to overflowing with the Life of Jesus.


Question for You: Do you have a simple way to practice discernment?

Choose Life

Shortly after we arrived on Cape Breton in the fall of 2007, it seemed like Everette and I entered into our own kind of Discipleship Training School with God. We had all of our previous support gone and we had begun a new journey. The process had started at some point before we left BC, but it was very clear and intense when we were here on Cape Breton and especially once the cold eastern winter set in. We were home much of the time, engrossed in the Word, online teachings thru podcasts or videos, and reading books. We each had our own journey, but they were overlapping quite often.

I was seeking to know God better, and to clear my mind and heart of all the religious things I'd grown up with. I had put God in a pretty small box, and had limited Him pretty much to my experience. I was wanting to serve a powerful BIG God. I was on the search to find Him.

I started to hear a voice. I don't know how to explain it, but it was clear and precise. I suppose it was in my head that I heard it, but it wasn't like the flurry of thoughts that seem to be constantly going around in this females head. It was loud, and everything else stopped. It got my total attention, although it was just one single word. It stood out like a beacon amidst a storm.

LIFE!!

How simple was that? Of course, I choose life. I wasn't considering suicide. I don't agree with abortion or euthanasia. Of course I choose life.

But then God brought me to Deuteronomy 30:19 "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live."

As I pondered this verse and started looking into blessings and curses, it became more apparent to me that through ignorance and/or naivety I was living with a form of death and with curses in my life, considering it a normal part of living in a fallen world. But when I became aware of the life and the blessings that God has for His children, and I recognized that as a citizen of the Kingdom I don't live under the rulership of this world (unless I'd choose to), then I really started to LIVE!

I started to evaluate my thoughts, and wonder if they were bringing life to my soul and spirit. If they weren't, then I would "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Cor 10:3-5
I would reject lies for I recognized that "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus) came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

Jesus came and died for me, that I would not only have life, not only eternal life, but abundant here-&-now life. He sent His Spirit in fullness to live in me, that I can have a very different life than those that are without Him. But I must constantly be choosing life, not death and the ways of the thief.

I started to see things more simply. Life....or death. Blessings......or curses. No brainer, of course I wanted the Life and the Blessings. So, how did that look in my daily life? (You can check out Deut 28 for a list of blessings and curses)

I would choose to think thoughts of Life. This isn't the same as being a positive thinker. This is thinking thoughts or words that originate from God, and from Jesus, since He is the Truth and the Life. (John 14:6)

Bill Johnson says, "I can't afford to have a thought in my head about me that is not in His." Chew on that for awhile. That was a biggie for me. It was a turning point, actually.

So, by choosing Life I was definitely choosing Jesus who is the Life, and I was choosing His thoughts about me. Thoughts like.....

I am a new creation in Christ; old things have passed away and all things have become new. (2 Cor 5:17)

I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him. (1 Cor 6:17)

I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. (2Cor 5:21)

I am righteous and holy. (Eph 4:24)

I am hidden with Christ in God. (Col 3:3)

I am more than a conqueror through Christ. (Rom 8:37)

I am a child of God who always triumphs in Christ and releases His fragrance in every place. (2 Cor 2:14)

I am a recipient of every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. (Eph 1:3)

If I sin and confess it, I now stand righteous before God. (1 John 1:9)

When I started to decree the truths God gave in the Bible, I was choosing words of LIFE over the lies of death that my spiritual enemy tried to feed me. I was working at doing what Bill Johnson said......not having thoughts about myself that God doesn't have. I find LIFE the more my thinking truly lines up with God's Word. There is really no other way to have LIFE than from the Life-Giver.


Question for You: Have you ever audibly heard the voice of God?

Try Gaelic!!!!

You might think Spanish or French is difficult to learn. Have a look at the Gaelic translations.......
There are actually people in town here who speak Gaelic. There is still very much a Gaelic presence (as also Acadian....18% of population of NS are Acadian,and many people fly the flag which looks like the French flag plus a gold star).

Cape Breton has the highest concentration of people speaking Gaelic (a dialect of Scots Gaelic) in Canada, and amazingly in the mid-19th century it was the third most spoken language in our country, after English and French. There are also pockets of the population on mainland NS and PEI who also speak Gaelic, and spread throughout the rest of the country. There are efforts being made to revitalise the language and breathe new life into the whole Celtic culture.


There is the Gaelic College of Celtic Arts and Crafts, and the world famous Celtic Colours...fantastic concerts and workshops of all kinds all over Cape Breton every October for 8 days. In the past Rita McNeil has done tours to show off her old stompin'grounds, and she holds concerts all thru NS and has a Tea Room still running up island from us.

**Nope, we aren't learning Gaelic. We're intimidated.


Question for You: What 2nd, 3rd, 4th languages do you speak?

Rauchelle shooting

She has a great coach named Al, here in Nova Scotia. We live 3 hrs away from each other, so they meet at a range 2 hrs from here and he spends basically the whole day coaching her one on one. He's one of those analytical numbers guys, can recall performance numbers like crazy. He nit-picks her stance (which is good) and her set-up of guns. He's a real talker to boot.

Anyways, here's 2 photos of her from yesterday, wearing her new jacket that she bought while in Germany. These jackets are thick and stiff, as are the pants, and she can get them to stand up by themselves in the middle of a room. Not an outfit to dance around in.

Pt Michaud

Our favorite beach. We went there yesterday to play in the surf, get some sun, and have a family picnic. It was breezy and a tad cold, but the family had fun nonetheless.

This beach is our favorite because there's lots of sand with nice rollers (surfers are here during hurricane season, so I hear) and to the east are great rocky outcrops to climb on. Above the rocky section is a grassed picnic area with incredible views, and bunches of shrubs that the children love to run around and play tag or hide on each other.

Laars was running around with the other dc while trying to eat his orange, but he must have dropped it at least a half dozen times. Just pick it up and try again!


Question for You: What's your favorite activity to do while at the beach?

Sap-Suckers

I've always thought it was important to have good character. As a homeschooling parent I have purchased Christian curriculum that was to aid me in building godly attributes into my developing adults. I thought this would produce good character. But I don't see it that way anymore. I am not against these curriculums, per se, but I do see something wrong with the way we approach good character.

I think that we are focusing on an end product we'd like to have, but haven't rightly got our eye on what the source of it is.

We might agree that the things listed in the verses below would be major proponents of what makes one have good character.

Galatians 5:22-23 (New Living Translation)
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23 (Amplified Bible)
22But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,
23Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [[a]that can bring a charge].

What I want you to notice is.....whose fruit is this? Who does the producing???

It is the fruit of the Spirit. It is He who produces it in our lives! It isn't by my own effort. It is a working of His Spirit.

When I got a grasp of that, it kinda shook me. I thought I just had to try harder to be good and kind, and particularly to have self-control. But that only produces goodworks, not necessarily good character.

In John 15:4-8 it gives the analogy of the vine, branches and fruit. Jesus says,

4Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me.

5I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing.

8When you bear (produce) much fruit, My Father is honored and glorified, and you show and prove yourselves to be true followers of Mine.

This is how I see my life now:
I need to abide in Jesus, and His Spirit will produce all the good character I need.

The more I am enveloped in Him, the more the fruit just shows up and multiplies. The branch doesn't have to focus on producing fruit, sending messages to 'grow, grow, grow'. The branch just needs to be well attached to the trunk/vine from which it gets its nourishment. The better that connection is, the better the sap can flow through the branch and it will naturally produce fruit without effort.

I believe that much of our struggles as Christians is because our gaze is redirected from the most important things, like abiding, and onto minor things. Yes, we need good character, but we don't get it or produce it in our lives by focusing on it. We produce it by abiding in Jesus. Rest in His Presence. Stop striving. Become a Sap-Sucker.


Question for You: Do you have particular things (ie, notes, certain chores, particular emotional feelings, etc) you use to remind you to get back to abiding?

Family Update...kinda long, cuz we're busy and there's alot of us

It's been brought to my attention that many of you don't actually know where we are, or what we are up to. So, I suppose I should give an update.

After all those years on Vancouver Island, Sept 2007 we 'temporarily' moved with the 7 youngest of our 9 dc (dear children) out to Cape Breton Island on the east coast where my sister's house had burned down. We rented a house in another town not too far away and thought we'd be here for about 4 months while we helped rebuild her house. Well, winter moved in before they got to dig for the foundation, so everything was behind schedule from get-go. All told we were here for 54 weeks. In January we were joined by our older girls. It was a great time of healing relationships, building new ones, and even getting a big house built.

God had moved in Everette's and my lives alot, brushing away alot of religiosity, and we had a desire to soak our dc in that powerful Christian lifestyle in a community of believers walking in the supernatural.

After the year was up we decided to head south to hang-out with Extreme Prophetic. We gave our old van away, and were trusting God to bring us the big white 15 passenger van Toveli had seen in a vision. I flew back to Vancouver with most of the dc (that was an experience. We saw the power of God and His peace working evidently in our lives and met so many people who witnessed it and told us about it. Incredible) Everette and Danaka drove from Nova Scotia all the way to Phoenix and located a place for us to rent. After a few weeks they met us in Vancouver where I had tracked down an excellent used van only a few miles away from my moms. Wow! We bought it the day after Everette arrived, and the next day our family was packed in the van and heading to the states.

The Lord got us across the border with stories to tell..... the keys were temporarily confiscated, the border-guard closed his bullet-proof wicket window, they shut down all the other lanes, and we were then escorted to a secure area where we were surrounded by armed guards and instructed to leave the van with slow motions and our hands visable at all times. It turned out to be 'mistaken identity' over my passport. Too many Karen Johnsons out there.

We spent 4.5 months in a community just south of Phoenix, AZ. What a time we had. At different times members of our family helped out at foodbanks, did street witnessing, volunteered at a women's shelter, took training on evangelism & healing, took in seminars on the supernatural. We had the opportunity to see the Grand Canyon (on a snowy windy day Brrr) and incredible Sedona.

We made friends with a colorful group of people for whom we will always be connected. They are woven into our hearts. They are a part of the deep work God is continuing to do in our lives. They are each a part of our wonderful time in AZ. We are forever changed.

We left Arizona the end of March. The family (minus Layne) drove across the USA, seeing the hand of God guiding us even as our route changed course unexpectedly. He is so awesome!!!

We drove thru El Paso, TX which I hadn't seen since my YWAM missions trip to Mexico back in the '80's. We got to see Dallas/Ft Worth from the highway, and I personally got to drive across the Mississippi. We spent a late night staying up talking with our friends outside of Atlanta, GA, (we miss you Daigles) then bee-lined it for Lancaster County to spend a couple of days amongst the Amish (one of my dreams come true! Thank you, Jesus!!) We went to the Liberty State National Park and got to see the Statue of Liberty (her backside, anyways) and then had a hassle getting thru NYC....but we made it!! We were about a week and a half in total, and all were thrilled to arrive safely at aunty's on Cape Breton.

This time we are staying in my sister's house. After all, its big and new!! We expect to be here for the summer and get some sailing done, then probably head back to BC for the fall. We have the older dc staying up on the 3rd floor where Everette and my sisters office is, and the family bathroom. Everette and I along with the youngest 2 girls and boys are down in the basement (its a nice
basement) which is mostly but not completely finished. There's 10+ acres to play on, plus the beach is across the street. There's a fishing wharf just across from us, and we can watch the lobster fishermen doing their thing every day.

Layne is living on the westcoast with my mom, and got a job (the first day she was looking PTL!) as a barista, which is basically what she was hoping for. She misses the family loads, but she presses on with the Lord and He sustains her.

Rauchelle is with us at least at this point, working around here and at the neighbours when she isn't away travelling or training for her air rifle. She had a great time & experience in Germany and Italy at World Cup and personally experienced the favor of God and man in her situation.

The other dc keep busy with learning to read, baking/cooking, building forts, gardening, etc.

Everette is doing ForEx, and I am the support for all that goes on around here.

We don't know how long we'll actually be here in Cape Breton. Although its a gorgeous place to visit and the lifestyle is slow the way we like, we aren't really planning to be here long-term. We have embarked on a different lifestyle since we gave up our house and most of our possessions in BC, and are living a life by faith. We can never 'go back', neither would we ever want to. But we are still 'based' out of BC.

So, that's where we are right now. A snapshot view of our family.

Question for You: Do you practice 'soaking' in the presence of the Lord?

If you've ever been interested in a Raw Diet for Health

You might want to check this out.
http://www.therawdivas.com/
Obviously I can't vouch for all the speakers and what they'll say, but all us intelligent people will be able to discern what is good for us as individuals and what you can toss. I am hoping to fit much of the 9 days talks into my day/night and stay with what's free.

Question for You: Have you ever eaten 100% raw? For how long?

A drive along the Bras d'Or Lakes

We've seen an awful lot of Nova Scotia in the time that we were here last year, and now we are doing a bit more touring. We've sailed some of the Bras d'Or Lakes, and that's one good reason we are back on Cape Breton, since last year Rauchelle became a partner with 3 (old) men (okay, they are like 66, 70 & 72, or something like that...seriously!) and we want to do some more sailing.
They say that you haven't seen Cape Breton until you've seen it from the lake, and it rivals sailing the Sunshine Coast of BC.

So yesterday we took a drive across part of the lake. You probably can't really get an idea of the Bras d'Ors unless you see a map of it. It is a large body of salt water (22% vs ocean 37%) being fed freshwater from watershed, and the lake dominates the interior of Cape Breton island. The lake is kind of cut off at Little Narrows, making there a northern and a southern lake but yet all called Bras d'Or (French meaning 'arm of gold')which is where we took a short ferry ride.

Toveli and Gaelyn amongst the trees

Mama

Laars and Daddy having fun blowing dandelion seeds

Laars is going to be turning 2 on the 26th. He's now spent most of his life away from BC
The fern-maiden Rauchelle
Toveli is the awesome hairdresser

Danaka, growing up so fast

Daddy threatening Anders about pulling him off of the fence

Our balancing beauty

a short ferry ride at Little Narrows, Barra Strait


Question for You: Where is your favorite Days-Drive?

Art at our house

This lion Rauchelle painted on the top of her nighttable.

Aunt Jo gave this big piece of canvas to Rauchelle and she gave her talented first-try at graffiti, and this hangs on her bedroom wall.

Mitchell seems to have traded building boats to float at River Bourgeois for building awesome paper planes with real style.


Mitchell is now baking every Shabbat's challah on his own. It's one of the highlights of our week.



Question for You: What is the prevalent art at your house these days?

My Frustration

I found a new blog this morning called 'the voice of one crying in suburbia' http://tinyurl.com/llndgj worth reading, which led me to an excellent article at http://tinyurl.com/nft7bt
They both have articles about having children and the quiverfull idea. In light of what I just wrote the other day, I thought they were timely.

I was particularly impressed by Dr. Voddie Baucham who is a pastor. I seldom hear pastors who 'endorse' the quiverful belief, and find it disturbing that Christians live their lives very much like the society around them. And even in 'economic downturn' times, we Christians ought to be shining beacons to those around us, marching to a heavenly beat that's not of this world, living differently.

This winter while we were away in Arizona, we often heard about God being into 'multiplication.....not addition'. But what disturbed me was that people like that idea when it comes to multiplication of their time, or resources, or their joy, or their pocketbook......but it was never about children. Never. But in reality, the very first time in Scripture that multiplication was directed at man, it was for Adam and Eve to 'be fruitful and multiply'.

Gen 1:28 And God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it [using all its vast resources in the service of God and man]; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves upon the earth.

I have never come across a scripture that said God nullified that command. Of course, reproduction has nothing to do with salvation. I clearly know that. But He is a God of fruitfulness, abundance, multiplication. Why would we think He wants us to multiply or be abundant in all areas of our lives, but not in bearing children made in His image?

I am honestly, sincerely, questioning why the vast majority of Christians don't 'get' the quiverful idea about children. If you have some input, let me know. I just don't get it.

We were surrounded this winter by people who operate in the supernatural, but none that I am aware of, believe in letting God plan their family. It's like they have faith for limbs to grow back, they have faith for prostitutes to become new creations, they have faith to see money miraculously appear in their bank accounts, they have faith for metal-rods and cancerous tumours to dissolve out of body's. But they don't seem to have faith that if left naturally, that married couples will only produce babies that God intended for them; that the woman's body can healthily and vibrantly carry a child to term & deliver a healthy baby naturally without complications; and that all the family's 'needs' will be met not by the measure of their need but "according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."(Phil 4:19)

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone out there. But....This is my heart, and this is my frustration.


Question for You: What things frustrate you the most?

NOTE: As of July 2011, my dh and I no longer agree with much of the QF mindset.

Our Journey to Quiverfull

Everette and I met and were married within 5.5 mths. Two weeks after our wedding night we conceived Layne. It hadn't been in our plans, but we were excited. Seventeen & half mths later Rauchelle was born. Four months later I conceived again but that ended in our first miscarriage (m/c). It seemed obvious to us that if we didn't pursue something stronger than the mini-pill and condoms/spermicide, we'd be multiplying like rabbits. We didn't like the idea of long-term pharmaceuticals.

Our pastor had pre-maritally suggested we not have children for at least 2 years into our marriage so we could really get to know one another. We obviously hadn't followed that plan (well, we had intended on waiting 4 years, but we started out differently than we had anticipated. And its turned out fantastic!) Now as parents of 2 dd's and a recent m/c, we sought 'spiritual counsel' from other married couples in the church, and they each suggested that "the guy should get a vasectomy because the wife's already been through enough with the pregnancies and deliveries." We also heard that "women will always have that nurturing desire/urge to have more babies" and "God gave you a brain and He expects you to use it", and "You are supposed to be good stewards."

So, we dutifully went ahead and Everette had a quick and free vasectomy.

At first we thought it was like a new-found freedom. We no longer worried about getting pregnant, and didn't have to bother with paraphernalia. We had the 'perfect little family' of two girls close in age. What could be better?

After a few years I started to regret the vasectomy, and the self-inflicted infertility that we had brought to our marriage. I started to question the reasons why we had decided to limit our family size, and basically it came down to an underlying issue of FEAR and SELFISHNESS. Fear of the future, of the ability to provide physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally for more children. Fear of the state of the world we'd be bringing more children into. Selfishness concerning sleep, personal time, self-development, ministry involvement.

We never searched the Scriptures to see if what so-and-so said was true (Acts 17:11) which was a big mistake of ours. Although we had both grown up in the church and knew that children were considered blessings according to Psalm 127, we didn't consider that limiting our family size might be a form of rejecting what God considered a blessing. And honestly, we didn't seek God's will in the decision.

It was through God bringing particular people, books, teachings and events into our lives that He began to speak clearly to my heart. I realized that I had rejected His perfect plan for the Christian marriage which I believe is to enjoy the marriage bed AND ... "Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth." (Malachi 2:15)

Yes, I know that Malachi is saying that He wants godly offspring and it can be argued that we would have more time to devote to achieving godly offspring if we had fewer children, but a major element about all of life and the stuff (ie. ministry) that we do is that we predominantly do it in our own strength vs abiding in Him (that's a whole other post!)

Anyways, from Scripture it's very clear that God likes children, He calls them a blessing, He even calls grandchildren (which you can't have unless you've had some children somehow) "a crown to the aged" Prov 17:6

Throughout the Old & New Testaments I repeatedly find that God is a God of fruitfulness and multiplication, and ever since the Garden of Eden He's been wanting His people to be blessed likewise.....Be fruitful and multiply.

Throughout Deuteronomy but particularly in chapter 28 I find clear descriptions of what He says are Blessings, and the things that He calls Curses. Verses 4 & 11 both talk about being fruitful in the womb. Verse 11 actually says "The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb". What? Abundant prosperity?? Doesn't our mindset say that the fruit of the womb will suck our bank accounts dry? I've heard that until each of our children are 18yo he/she will cost us something like US$250,000?

On the other hand, if "you do not obey the LORD your God and do not carefully follow all his commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come upon you and overtake you:....v18 The fruit of your womb will be cursed". Other books in the Old Testament talk of times that God said He closed the wombs because of judgment. A closed womb was never considered a desirable thing, until recent history. That isn't because God changed His view on the womb and children, but because society has changed its view on His blessings.

When I read the whole 28th chapter of Deut, I find that the fruit of the womb is about the only thing mentioned as a blessing that in today's society we choose to limit or even resist. Okay, maybe I wouldn't desire a herd of cattle, but considering that they were a great source of income as was olive oil, I'd gladly accept an abundance of that! I wouldn't want to limit or reject anything that God says is desirable!! The blessings are because the LORD wants to grant us abundant prosperity.

I started to get grossed out thinking about what we had actually done to Everette's body, that had once been working wonderfully according to God's plan (but not ours). When I researched about vasectomies and found out what undo stress it places on the man's body (because fluids that were meant to be kept within the vas deferens now went into the body cavity and were seen as invaders), I was anxious for Everette to have a reversal, even if we never had more children. I wanted his body to be working the way it was designed.

There were many issues we had to work out in our individual lives, and hash over as a couple. Months after I was convicted that we hadn't trusted God fully, Everette came to his own realization. Honestly, I did hope to have more children, but Everette didn't particularly desire more. He was content with the 2 we had, and really the sole purpose that he pursued a reversal was to make right what he had done out of lack-of-faith. He felt it was necessary for him to pay restitution for his sin.

It was 6.5 yrs since he'd had a vasectomy, and once we found the right surgeon to do the operation, they wanted to check his level of sperm-antibodies before agreeing to the surgery (lower antibodies supposedly equals greater chance of successful outcome meaning pregnancy). But even before we got the blood test results back Everette decided that it had nothing to do with the possibility of conception, but being made clean before the Lord. It was within our means to have a reversal (free snips for the vas, but thousands of dollars to get it reversed!! Oh, and its a lie (from the pit of hell) that a guy gets 'fixed' when he gets a vasectomy! He's gotten broken.)

We anxiously awaited the surgery date, which was February 16th, 2 days after we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Everette felt like he was awaiting a big spanking.....while I anticipated receiving more children from the hand of God. But both of us felt utter peace...unexplainable peace...during the time immediately around the surgery. That peace has remained all these years as long as we keep abiding in Him, and don't get our eyes onto our own limitations.

Absolutely amazing to me was that the first cycle I had after Everette was 'back to normal', we conceived Danaka. That was a miracle. It is normal to conceive between 3-12 months after the reversal.

So for those that don't know each of our children and their spacing, here's a list of the of the girls and boys and the years they were born.
DD1 1986
DD2 1988
m/c 1988
reversal 1996
DD3 1996
DS1 1998
DD4 2000
m/c 2001
DD5 2002
m/c 2003
DD6 2004
DS2 2006
DS3 2007
m/c 2009
expecting 2010


I've often thought about writing out what my QF (quiverful) philosophy is, and so I've given it a try. Hope it makes sense. It is part philosophy, but mostly our journey. A journey in growing in our faith in a good God who has abundance for us. Abundance in ALL things that are good.


**Now, a common misconception (no pun intended) is that quiverful is equal to having lots of children. That just is not true. Quiverful is more of a mindset rather than a particular look. One can be quiverful with 1,5,8 or 20 children. The goal is not 'more is better'. It's a trust that God has a perfect family size and spacing for each married couple, and we won't end up with too many nor too few by not using contraceptives.

***Stupid Comments and Smart Come-backs


Question for You: If you have a larger-than-average family size, what are some of the stupidest questions you've been asked?


NOTE:  As of July 2011 neither my dh nor I attest to be QF-minded.  We have gone through a few years of questioning our religious beliefs, which have made us re-evaluate our QF beliefs.  I no longer stand by what I wrote above.

I encourage you to leave a comment!

I've gotten a few personal emails with comments about my blog, and I invite you to leave your comments for others to see, too. Each of us have valid points of view, and we can learn from one another. A main intent of my blog is to encourage others by sharing what's happening in my life, and what I feel that the Lord has been revealing to me.

Be Blessed.


Question for You: Do you read blogs without leaving comments, usually?

A Wellness Shake

If you check out John Gray's site @ marsvenus.com (he's known for the bks about Men being from Mars and Women are from Venus.....that's not the title, just the gist of it) he has a Wellness Program I don't follow, but I use his 'recipe' for the shake without buying his products. I noticed from the very first day my emotions where way more level and I feel much better on the days that I drink the shakes and the cleanse he suggests. I'll post the recipes, cuz like I said I don't purchase his products.

The premise of his Wellness program is that men & women (mars & venus) have differing nutritional needs for their brains and hormones. I haven't noticed differences in his measurements other than for protein (women needing 10-20g vs men 13-30g per shake) and the flax oil or seed (half the amount for men).

Anyways, what I am finding powerful is that when I drink these shakes and the cleanse, I feel much more stable and in control of my emotions. Not the roller-coaster feeling I used to experience.

I also watched an interview on sidroth.org with a rabbi/medical Dr Eric Braverman from Cornell who believes that most of our medical/phsycological/disease/weight situation is controlled via the chemistry of our brain, and that by using herbal teas and spices we can change our whole physical state, even making us look and feel younger. He believes that God gave us plants/herbs for our health, and considers pharmaceuticals as witchraft (manipulation).

Anyways, here's the shake recipe I use and feel great with, but the taste took a bit getting used to. And I start every morning with the cleanse drink which is ideal for the liver and bloodstream.

CLEANSE drink, on empty stomach
8 oz water (I use hot to melt the honey)
1 oz aloe vera juice
1 tsp honey
juice of 1/2 lemon
trace minerals (ionic plan sourced) in amount recommended by manufacturer (I use Cellfood)

Laars and Anders share my drink most mornings, and Chelle and Everette drink their own most mornings now, too.

The SHAKE

12 oz water
handful whole almonds with skins
1/2 tsp psyllium husk powder (the flaky looking stuff, not the fine powder)
1 TBsp cacao powder
1 TBsp coconut oil****
1 Tbsp flax oil (or 2 TB ground flax seed)
1 tsp molasses (I don't put that in my smoothy. I eat it plain or in warm water. It's not my favorite but it has lots of minerals)
frozen berries for phytonutrients like blueberries (per how thick and cold you like the smoothy/shake)
whole apple (minus the stem/seeds of course, and Gray peels it. I usually skip the apple)
whey protein powder (10-20g for women)
I sometimes add a big handful of baby salad greens

John Gray also suggests adding 1-2 tsp maca root. But I don't have it, and I think that's the ingred in the Vega protein I was using that made me really not enjoy the shake. So I skip it. At present I'm not using protein powder, just getting the protein from the almonds and a raw egg I add. But the next time I order stuff from the healthfood store I'm going to get Udo's Beyond Greens or Prairie Naturals Blueberry Greens Force, and let Everette consume the Vega.

Cheers....to your health!

****my friends will recall that I was allergic to coconut oil/cream. But Praise God! I am completely healed. I asked, I believed, and then I acted on it. No more hives or sick feeling from it. I have several TBsp each day now)


Question for You: Do you have a health drink you have every day?

Being Green

Okay, so I'm not the most green person around, I admit. But when I got an ah-hah! moment about John 3:16-17, I started to think about all that God gave up so that the world might be saved, and started to question if I was living in-line with what He loves, or was I living in opposition to it? After all, one of my main prayers is that I would love the things that the Lord loves, and hate the things that He hates.

I don't think John was suggesting that we love the man-made systems of the world which are motivated by power, greed, lust, etc. But that thru the abundance of love that fills us as children of our Father, we would see the world thru His eyes and have a burning desire to improve and benefit the whole world, including the people.

When I am completely full of Him, I actually am in need of no-thing. I certainly don't need to lust after any of the stuff or powers of the world, and am therefore not tempted to love the world in a sinful way. But being full of Him , Ron says, "leads to serving mankind and the world around us by seeking to make things better for everyone; to bring the peaceful, prosperous, order of God to the kosmos. This love from God is a giving kind of love."


Question for You: Do you consider yourself 'green'? What sort of things do you major on to live 'green'?

For God so Loved the WORLD!

Where did I ever get the idea that the WORLD in John 3:16 meant 'all the inhabitants; all the people of the world'? When I ask people around me, they also seem to have absorbed the idea that God loved (just) the people in the world, and that's why He sent His Son into the world to die for them.

But wait! If we read a bit more of the scripture and take it for what it really says, we come up with quite a different idea.

John 3:15-17 "And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so also is it necessary for the Son of Man to be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in Him would have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that every one who believes in Him would not die but would have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world so that He would condemn the world, but so that the world would be saved through Him."

Sure, John is talking about salvation being available for people through the sacrifice of Jesus. But, that's possibly not all. It says that because God loved the world so much.... The word translated for 'world' here is the Greek word "kosmos". That means the worlds systems....not just the people in those systems.

So, is it possible that Jesus didn't just come to save the people of the world (like I grew up assuming) but that He actually came to save the whole world/universe/space?? Could it be that He intends to save ALL that He created?

Ron McGatlin in The Seventh Millenium writes "As men receive Christ Jesus into their lives and then yield control of their lives to the Spirit of Christ within, the will of God is done from heaven on earth. The kingdom of God from heaven rules in the world and the ways of God redeem and restore the kosmos." Ron continues, "In every instance the word translated "world" in John 3:16-17 is "kosmos". The key to the redemption of the world is the salvation of man. Thus man's redemption is the world's only hope."

Wow!

While we were in Arizona this winter, we were priviledged to hear a dynamic Jason Westerfield speak. Anyways, he gave testimonies about places where the earth and the economy improved around places where revival had taken place. Places like villages in Guatemala where people had had supernatural experiences with God, and then the ground itself started to produce more vegetation, and more crops for the farmers! Can you believe that? I certainly do. Why wouldn't it? If Jesus Himself came to give us life, and that life more abundantly, then why wouldn't it effect the land and atmosphere around us? More crops would make those farmers' lives more abundant, that's for sure.

I heard a story thru Bill Johnson that a flowering cactus (I believe that's what it was) that's been located in a prayer room of theirs, has now been blooming something like 11 months of the entire year!!! Where normally it would bloom for a short period once or twice a year. Believe me....praise changes the atmosphere, and that plant is thriving on it.


Question for You: Have you seen or heard examples of the earth/nature being supernaturally renewed in connection to revival in an individual, or community, or country?

Occupy

I was listening to Lance Wallnau (from lancelearning.com) thru xpmedia.com and have been thinking about something he said. He loosely quoted Napolean Bonaparte by saying "The objective of a war is victory, but the objective of the victory is occupation." Then Lance said "If you can't occupy til He comes, then the enemy actually takes back more in coming back then he had when he got driven out."

Occupy. Follow the job thru to completion. How easy it is to get excited about the win, but can we push thru to occupy and keep our victory!!

Jesus talked about a person getting delivered from evil spirits, but if the house wasn't swept and then filled, the spirits would come back in greater numbers and the person would be worse off.

In simple terms, I can get the whole house victoriously spring-cleaned, but if I don't constantly work at occupying and keeping order.......well, most of us know what happens!!

Occupy! Occupy! Occupy all the territory the Lord has given, all that is within your influence. Let's push back the darkness and flood it with LIGHT! And keep on shining!!!!


Question for You: What or where do you feel God is calling YOU to occupy?

The Hairbrush Experience

Beth Moore from Living Proof Ministries shares

Whatsoever things......

Life seems full of a million goals, or all the things I hope to achieve, or I dream of changing in my life! But one that I think ought to be a lifetime goal of mine is based from the Scriptures in Philippians 4:8. The Message says:

^8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

The Amplified Bible says:
⁸For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

The one I memorized decades ago (but don't ask me to quote it or you'll just get the Karen paraphrase!) is from NIV:

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.


I have found that since putting more effort in thinking on the positive and trying throughout my day to turn my attention more onto the Lord (the Best of the Bests!) the better my days go. I am not empowering the negatives in my life by pondering on them. I am taking stock of my emotions as if they are immediate feedback on what my thought life is up to, and then I know immediately if I am in need of action to change what I'm thinking about.

I am winning at this....for I can do ALL THINGS thru Christ who strengthens me.

Question for You: What translation do you use to memorize from?